I am often confused by the pressures that are placed on young people in our current world. And by young people, I mean adults in their 20s and even 30s. I just don’t understand it.
It feels to me like they are asked to do so much, so fast, so hard and so successfully all by the age of 25!
Here’s just a few things I believe we have put on their plates.
Get through high school with at least one year of college already under your belt. Know your major and commit on day one of your undergraduate degree. Graduate early but spend lots of time having “fun” back packing, traveling abroad, posting pics to social media of your huge group of friends that are always by your side so you are never lonely, don’t incur any debt and have a plan mapped out for the rest of your life or at least the next 20-30 years. (If you are a 20-something reading this, don’t panic! Breathe. You are not behind. Keep reading. ❤️)
Oh and that college major? Be sure it’s your Passion! And yet, also make sure you make lots of money. And the biggest requirement of all? Make sure you are giving back, helping others and saving the planet.
Now let’s add one more thing to the mix. You need to do all of this far away from home. Don’t go to the school close by. It doesn’t matter if it’s a great school. It doesn’t matter if it’s cheaper and will help you achieve that “no debt” requirement. You need to venture out. Go where no one knows you. Start anew.
And my heart breaks for the young soul that doesn’t want to go to college. I am a huge believe in formal education. I loved being on a college campus learning and teaching. But I fully understand and allow that it’s not for everyone. Learning is learning! I believe in life-long learning and love that it can be achieved in all kinds of places and in many ways. So hats off to the young adult that knows that college isn’t for them and is brave enough to say it out loud.
And please know that I realize that some young adults want to leave home. Some young adults have determined their passion/focus/lane early on and are not feeling any of the pressures that I have mentioned. But my hunch is the majority haven’t.
I believe the majority are working hard and struggling emotionally. We have raised a beautiful generation of sensitive, kind and emotionally aware 20- and 30-somethings. They have a wisdom and compassion for our world that I don’t believe previous generations as a whole have possessed. They wan’t to do everything that’s being asked of them but bottom line, it’s just too much.
I believe they need to be given a longer timeline. Some space. Grace to wander a bit. Figure it out along the way. Be allowed to make a few mistakes. Let them not be perfect.
And most importantly, I believe that sometimes they need permission to need their Mom or a Mom. And it’s okay.
It’s okay to need a “soft place to fall” as Dr. Phil is always saying. It’s okay to reach out to someone in your life that will listen without judgement. It’s okay to revise that passion, dream, path everyone told you that you had to go after without looking back. It’s okay.
I am painfully aware that not everyone has a Mom like I’m describing. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have someone who functions as a Mom or Dad or big brother/sister or trusted friend in your life.
And if you don’t look around and see that person, then with love I’m gently urging you to find that person. I know I’m adding one more thing to your already massive to do list, but this is a game changer. Please slow down, take a deep breath and let your mind settle on your “Mom.” And once you do that imagine that I am writing you an official permission slip.
Now go ahead and call, text, FaceTime, send smoke signals, do whatever you need to do to connect with your soft place to fall and . . . fall. Let them help you sort it all out. Find a way to do some thinning, trimming, in your life. Forgive me for the comparison, but kinda like the perfect haircut that has you walking out of the salon/barber shop feeling lighter and knowing that styling your hair is going to be so much easier and you’re going to feel so much better about how it looks!
You can do it all! It’s not a fallacy. Where you may have gotten a little off track is being pressured into thinking you can do/have it all, all at once. You can’t. You just can’t. Not and have quality of life. And that’s what you deserve no matter how you feel about yourself.
I know all of this is kinda heavy but if this resonates with you, then that means there is Truth in this for you. And trust me on this one, Truth always, ALWAYS leads to freedom in your life.
Sending you the biggest hug ever!
~Brenda
P.S. If you need a “Mom” independent of your daily life that will listen and help you sort it all out, I would love and be honored to to do that for you. Let’s talk. Schedule a free call. ❤️
About Chalkboard Wisdom
A couple of years ago, I bought a little chalkboard. It’s 3 1/2 inches wide and 8 inches tall. I thought I was going to use it as a grocery list. But then I didn’t.
The chalkboard sat on my kitchen counter. Waiting. Patient. Knowing her true purpose. She wanted to tell me Truths. She wanted me to see, read and learn about life through her simple messages. She wanted to help me discover how to be happy.
Often, not everyday but several days a week, she whispers something in my ear that I know I am to write on the chalkboard. And I do. Always. Without Fail. I trust her and obediently write her words down with the flaky chalk pencil and I usually add a tiny 5-petal flower. 🌸
The words are written for me but I also know that I am to share them. I believe it would be selfish of me to keep them all to myself.
My Chalkboard and I hope you find wisdom in our words that you my carry on your journey. ❤️