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Brenda Yelvington

Life Coach + Art Maker

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Life Coach, ArtMaker & Photographer View all posts by Brenda Yelvington

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Rose #32 -Not a victim. 🌿 Learning to say 'No'

Rose #32 -Not a victim.
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Learning to say 'No' has been the hardest lesson that I've ever learned in my 58 years so far. And I'm still not sure I've totally figured it out. BUT, I do know that I'm a lot better at it.
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Not saying No when my gut, still small voice, or heart is urging me to never works out well for me. No matter how much my Head takes over and reasons with me that saying Yes is going to be fine, I know the Truth. I'm not going to feel good about it. I will probably end up resenting the person who asked (often pressured) or the situation. And eventually, I will feel like a victim.
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And honestly, I am a victim. A victim of my own making. Overall, it's an exhausting cycle of life events.
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It goes the other way too. Sometimes my gut, small voice, heart is urging me to say Yes. It's usually to something I really want to do or experience. But my pesky Head gets involved and talks me out of it.
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So when I say "gently do what is right for you," what I'm talking about is saying NO when you KNOW you want to say No and saying YES when you KNOW you want to say Yes.
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It sounds easy. But for us people pleasing souls in the world, it's not. It's HARD. And it will inevitably change your life.
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You will keep friends, gain new friends but sadly lose others that you realize needed you to always say Yes to them in order for them to be your friend. (This goes for family too. 😢)
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You will also start to experience freedom. Freedom to be who you always have known you could be. Freedom to no longer be a victim. Freedom to have uplifting relationships and authentic love in your life.
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It's time to begin gently doing what is right for you. Your life is waiting. 💜

Rose #31 - I have secrets. 🌿 But these are the

Rose #31 - I have secrets.
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But these are the good kind of secrets. Things not known or seen by everyone around me. Things I share, reveal or allow only those I choose to know about me.
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It's the best form of boundaries combined with me being seen/vulnerable with those that I want to be closer to me in my life. Friends, family, chosen family. Trusted relationships that I cherish.
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Secrets. But the good kind. The ones that you share and sometimes laugh about them. Sometimes you share and cry because you know your secrets and you are safe.
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I hope you have someone you are able to share your secrets with. 💜
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P.S. I'm sharing the 37 Roses that I painted for a collection that I call "Roses Speak - Truths found on the Mountain." Click on my bio @gentlydowhatisrightforyou to see the Roses that I've shared so far.
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P.P.S. My Roses are Coming Soon to be exhibited at the University of Arkansas Fort Smith! I'll share all the details as soon as I have them all worked out. I can't wait to show them to you in person!
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#rosesspeak #watercolorart #gentlydoart #gentlydolifestyle #watercolorlove #watercolortruths #artmaker #watercolorroses

Rose #30 - Letting go. 🌿 When I was in Jr. High

Rose #30 - Letting go.
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When I was in Jr. High, my "friends" all got together and wrote me a note. Or at least that was the impression that I was given. It was a note. And it was signed by all of them.
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The Note listed my shortcomings, things I did that annoyed them and all the general problems they had with me. My biggest take away from The Note was that they didn't like how I did well in school. They didn't say it in actual words, but they wanted me to shrink. Quit sitting near the front. Quit being excited about school and if I made a good grade keep quite about it! In short, they wanted me to Quit Being Me.
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So I did.
Desperate for their "friendship," I tried to change myself to be accepted.
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Here's the sad part about all of this. We were children! Kids! Trying to learn how to be and exist in this world. But I took the message from The Note and built my life around it. I internalized how I should change, morph, shrink, and do anything to be liked. To be loved. And guess what? (I know you already know this.) It didn't work. The "truths" from The Note, tainted every relationship and every endeavor I approached in my adulthood. And I'll say it again, we were children!
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This is just one example from my life of "truths" about myself that were never Truths to begin with. And I needed to let them go.
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So here's what I did. One day, I wrote The Note as best as I could remember. I signed the names. And then I burned it. Yep! Up in flames! lol And I forgave myself for bringing childhood trauma (believe me, this was traumatic in my 13 year old life!) into my adulthood.
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I let it go.
And it felt great!
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#rosesspeak #watercolorart #gentlydoart #gentlydolifestyle #watercolorlove #watercolortruths #artmaker #watercolorroses

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